Tomorrow my maternity leave officially comes to an end. Although I get to work most of my hours from home, the change feel so big. I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t dreading it.
There’s something really special about being able to love on and care for your baby 24/7. And thinking about splitting up that time just feels kinda wrong. I want to give 100% to my girl and having some of that time committed elsewhere feels like it’s being stolen.
I’m trying not to be stuck in those feelings, but they are there. Maybe it has something to do with being an HSP but it feels like I won’t be able to give baby E everything she needs.
So I’m not sure exactly what these feelings are, where they are coming from, or what to with them, but life does have to go on.
I cannot imagine those that have to into the office full time after maternity leave, and I also can’t understand how some people can go back after just six weeks. Your baby is so tiny then and you are still healing physically at that point. I know some people don’t have a choice in the matter, but I think employers should make it possible for women to stay home longer if they want.
I know some people are ready and want to get back to work that early and there’s nothing wrong with that. I just fall in the other camp.
Hopefully one day I can work fully from home, but until then I think this will be a challenge. However I can see where some growth could come from it. If nothing else it will help both me and baby E to get comfortable with being apart for short times every so often. Otherwise I’d probably just stick around the house all the time and probably go insane. As much as I don’t want to leave my girl at all, it’s gotta happen for both our sakes.
We had such a beautiful time together these last three months, and now we transition to another beautiful time with its own ups and downs, joys and struggles.