I am learning to love my journey from perfectionism and idealism to freedom and joy. But still, a lot of times I don’t love that journey so much. There’s not freedom. Or joy. Some days, it just feels like life sucks. And the ideal seems so much better than what I have.
Don’t we all feel that sometimes?
We want to be an amazing spouse or parent or friend, or whatever roles we are in.
We long for cool jobs that are exciting and fulfilling and pay well and makes us come alive.
We want to our homes and our families to be well-taken care of and in order. You know – everything organized and tidied Marie Kondo style; laundry wash, dried, folded AND put away; food made on time like a boss. Family members happy. All of the things.
We want to be inspired and motivated, on schedule and on top of things.
We want our bodies to always be in shape and strong.
We want to make a difference in people’s lives.
We want to be strong and stable when life’s storms hit.
We want to just be killin’ it at everything.
But a lot of the times, we just feel like everything’s killing us?
When we feel like we are exactly the opposite of what we want to be?
When we fail at not just a few things, but everything?
And it’s so easy to be disappointed in ourselves. And to feel that others are disappointed in us too.
Where do you go from here?
We’ve all done it.
Spent days “being busy” but doing nothing.
Bingeing Netflix.
Scrolling social media.
Feeling like there’s nowhere to start and nowhere to go.
Doubting the things that we do have to do.
Feeling so unmotivated and lost even in the things we want to do.
Feeling like everything in life is out of control.
Circumstances. Emotions. Schedules. The house. Life.
And what we really really want to do in those times?
Find distractions. Numb the pain. Ignore the unknowns. Anything that feels goods (because most things don’t).
I’ll admit it. In this season, depression is getting the best of me. My family situation is breaking me. My career transition and having no idea what to do is weighing on me. I’ve been through a lot of challenges in my short time on earth so far, but I’ve never been so stuck. Or so lost. For. So. Long. Have you experienced those seasons? Are you experiencing it now?
We all go through these yucky seasons. They are just hard. And discouraging. And painful.
Most days, I just want to know why. Why am I here? Why I am experiencing these things right now? What am I supposed to do?
Maybe this is a hard season. Maybe I just suck at adulting. Maybe my expectations are too high.
But whatever it is, this is where things are at for me right now.
So what am I going to do about it?
No one admires anyone for having an easy life.
But everyone admires those who persevere. Who don’t give up. Even if they don’t know what to do or how things are going to turn out. But how do we do that?
What to Do When You Don’t Know What to Do
1. Limit phone time.
Seriously. This is not supposed to be like some awesome life hack. But our phones are one of the most common go-to’s when we don’t know what to do. It’s one of the easiest things to do when you’re feeling low. Check your email 87 times. Scroll Facebook and Instagram. Browse pins. Search for inspiration. And though we might feel better while we’re on our phones, we feel way worse when we finally decide we need to put it down and find something else to do. It kills time, motivation, creativity, and probably brain cells or something… Honestly, it doesn’t help us get any closer to where we want to be. And it keeps us from the things that we really need to be doing during these times.
Action I will be taking: Check phone only in the morning, the middle of the day, and the end of the day. Unless of course, I need to respond to a text or email. Don’t spend any more than 15 minutes during those three times.
2. Pray and stay in the Word.
We know that we should keep our eyes fixed on the Lord. In our hard seasons and in our good seasons. But simply saying “I need to keep my eyes fixed on the Lord” is not gonna do much for us. Praying and being the Word are two ways we can actually make that happen.
Prayer is the one things that I always tell myself I need to do, and then don’t. I forget that prayer really does make a difference. I spend so much time trying to figure out what I’m supposed to do, feeling paralyzed by emotions, being worried that I’ve done or am doing something wrong…wouldn’t that time be much more effective and powerful if I spent it praying instead? My normal excuse for not praying is “I don’t have time.” And that’s just a lie.
And staying in the Word. Another one of those things that I tell myself that there are more important things to do. Like desperately trying to figure out what I should be doing. Spending copious amounts of time reading articles, looking for alternatives to what I’m currently doing, searching for the next best “self-help” tips. But none of these profit anything like spending time in the Word.
Action I will be taking: Schedule intentional time each day to spend in the Word and prayer. If it’s not scheduled, it won’t happen. Or, when I’m down, grab the Word rather than the phone.
3. Don’t give up on the things you already know you should be doing.
During these harder seasons, it’s so easy to feel like the things you do have to do are super insignificant and to feel incredible pressure to get yourself to a better place, doing bigger things, etc. But we don’t orchestrate our lives. We make choices yes, but we have a master Architect over our lives who has a plan for us. And we may make plans, but He directs our steps according to His plan.
This is hard for me right now, because I don’t really want to wait to see what happens next. I’d rather make it happen. But my steps are not lining up…not yet. So even though I have a lot of hurdles and struggles with what God has currently placed in front of me, and I’d rather just have something else to do, something more fun or glamorous or meaningful, we are called to be faithful. And just because we may have been doing something for a long time and feel like it should be time for a change, it doesn’t mean we can just stop doing them and expect something else to work out. We keep doing them. And trust that He is working things out way better than we could.
Action I will be taking: List out the things that God currently has given me to do and be faithful in doing them. Until He gives me something else to do. However. Long. It. Takes. Create reminders for myself and post where I will see them regularly. Bonus points: Be creative in doing the things you already have to do.
4. Worship
Like prayer, worship is powerful. And worship changes things. It changes our perspective, it changes our posture, and it changes our attitudes. Worship is an acknowledgement of God’s goodness and greatness. When we worship, we declare His victory over our defeat. So while you persevere in the the things you’ve already been given to do, go about them in a spirit of worship. It makes a difference, promise.
Action I will be taking: Find a song or two a day to spend time just worshiping – focusing on the attributes of God. I find worshiping in song to be especially powerful, so when I need to be really intentional in worship, this works for me. But worship doesn’t stop there. We can worship as we go about our daily activities, doing them for His glory rather than our own gain. We can worship in our thoughts and attitudes, giving Him thanks and praising His name in everything. We can worship when we surrender to him in cheerful obedience. What mode of worship do you feel drawn to?
You Got This
I’m sure there are a lot of other things we could do as well. To be more proactive, to be more aggressive. But that can become overwhelming. And if there are too many things to focus on, we probably wouldn’t do any of them. So in the struggle of not knowing what to do, small things are probably best. So stay in the game wherever you are. Trust that He has a plan and that He’s working the plan. Be faithful. Be patient. Give thanks. And don’t give up.
